dear god we love kitch.

WE WISH WE ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLS

First billboard:  Female Cagefighting.  Welcome to Cali.

And a brilliant evening (complete with grilled plums! who does that?!) with AMC's brother and sister-in-law.  shout out to carrie. 

and now... WE'RE IN THE MADONNA INN.  and our room is called... wait for it... the TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

MADONNA INN

cakes.  i mean, really.  it's like i meant to the brittany museum.

What do you get when you cross the Central Coast Dental Society convention, ballroom dancing, and Martha Plimpton?  You get our perfect evening in San Luis Obispo at the Madonna Inn.  When this blog becomes a television show, one entire episode will be devoted to the Madonna Inn.  What I will say here is that it is a bavarian theme-room hotel, and our room was a Mardi Gras theme (the room was called TIME OF YOUR LIFE.) The wallpaper in the bathroom was purple and sparkly.  The carpet was purple, as was the brick wall in the room, covered with Mardi Gras masks and gold molding.  Behind our room was the pool complete with WATERFALL COMING OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN. The entire hotel is decorated in Pepto Bismal pink and white.  While it sounds like an incredible assault on one's senses, I can tell you that it was delightful.  At the Madonna Inn bar, where we spent a lot of the evening, an incredible band played while lots of couples (some in matching outfits - no really, like brown poly Jams and a dress) ballroom danced the night away.  (One of those couples included Martha Plimpton and her boyfriend, who could not dance and did not seem too happy to be there.) Also present was a single woman, who did not seem at all phased by the fact that she had no one to dance with, and she proceeded to slide across the entire dance floor multiple times.  

We watched couples break up, and we watched one cougar stalk the room and succeed - as we walked back to our room there was definately some parking lot action.  As we sat there sipping our wine (MM can tell you that the Madonna Inn chardonnay is actually not that bad), we could not believe our good fortune at being able to get a great internet rate at the one place that everyone told us to stop at when we passed through Central California.  We know why.  (Note from MM:  i'm totally having my wedding here.  totally.  my parents are rolling over in their graves at the mere thought.)  Also in the morning, we had breakfast at the Bavarian cafe, where they have the craziest cakes and the most amazing cookies.  get online and order the angel cookies.  i'm not kidding.  Also, on our running theme of torture on this trip, we were sat at a booth yet again, surrounded by people holding weapons.  in this mural, there are men and women around a stagecoach WITH WHIPS.  some are whipping the team of 6 donkeys (6?  what are they, cleidsdales?), and one man is holding his whip behind his back like he's gonna sneak up on the woman and whip her.  i mean, of course it's the woman.  again.

this is the bathroom.  you can't really get a sense of the wallpaper. which we think is fabric.  and these are the robes they gave us.  made for very large men.  very.

Prior to our evening at Madonna Inn, we explored downtown San Luis Obispo, which was having some sort of college street fair.  The town is delightful, as is the weather.  We had an amazing dinner with incredible wine (of course) and ruminated on the fact that this last leg of our trip will mostly be devoted to the Drink portion of our blog's title.  (Note from MM:  i was nervous that we had off-balenced the blog to the drive and stop part.  i am no longer worried.)  We have already hit two wineries in the Central Coast area (MM joined another wine club.  yep.)  and are currently headed up to Napa, to literally spend the night at lava vine where randy is flying in for the wine club BBQ.  open bar on wine.  highway to the danger zone.

At Kaylra.  Delicious rose.

On our way up to San Luis Obispo, we had to pass through Orange County.  God help us.  This leg of the trip brought out the ugly side of MM, as she seemed to have completely lost all sense of composure, calm, and rational sense.  She claims it's just what Orange County does to her.  It's the generic apartment buildings and shopping malls....for miles and miles. I will tell you that this experience is worse than road rage, as it feels like a slow burn, instead of a sudden burst of anger.  It's really awful.  I was glad to pass through there, and I'm proud to say that we made it without stopping at a single Panera, Borders Cafe or Barnes and Noble.  (And we could have....they are literally every fifty feet.)